A woman who was violently raped as a teenager has launched her own line of consent underwear to encourage partners to discuss boundaries and ‘ask’ before they have sex.
Ella Fairon, from Newport Beach, Californiawho was a victim of sexual assault in high school, has designed a variety of underwear with slogans such as ‘Ask the cutie before touching the loot’ and ‘Cool cats ask permission’, to ask partners for permission.
She had the idea for the Underwear brand Assk First after the tragic death of her 24-year-old friend Daisy Coleman in 2020, whom she met while in the Netflix documentary, Audrie and Daisy.
The show brought together teens who were sexually assaulted in high school.
Ella Fairon (pictured), from Newport Beach, California, has launched her own range of lingerie to encourage partners to discuss boundaries and ‘ask’ before having sex.
Ella said she was inspired to launch underwear brand Assk First following the tragic death of her 24-year-old friend Daisy Coleman in 2020
Ella said she drew little cat characters to deal with Daisy’s death and thought they would look ‘nice’ on underwear
“When Daisy died, I had a really hard time with it,” Ella said.
‘I could handle the fact that she was gone by doing digital art and it sounds so stupid, but I started drawing these little cat characters and I thought they would look so nice on underwear.
‘It was like a giant snowball that kept rolling and rolling and turning into Ask First.
‘There are so many different scenarios where sexual assault occurs and a great deal happens within relationships.
‘I imagined so many different scenarios where someone would see them and be asked to ask’ what does your underwear mean? ‘
‘I’ve never had underwear with words on it. So many good things come out of this.
‘I was raped by two boys. What happened to me was more violent, they physically attacked me, hit me and so on, tolerated me and attacked me when I was unconscious.
Ella said two boys physically assaulted her, drugged her and then assaulted her while she was unconscious at the age of 14.
‘It not only happened that night and went away, it was an ongoing thing at school. Everyone knew about it and would plague me in the halls.
‘I do not think they think they have done anything wrong. It was as if I was not even a human being. There was an investigation, but I never got right to what happened.
‘When I think back to when it was so fresh and I was 14, all the things you normally go through as a high school girl add up to a super traumatic event. Everything feels like the end of the world.
‘I wrestled so hard with self-harm. I felt it was so unfair. ‘
Ella claims she has been flooded with more than 1,000 orders since the launch of Assk First, but has also received messages from people describing her ideas as ‘stupid’
Underwear designer Ella claims she has been inundated with more than 1,000 orders since its launch last year.
Although the majority of the feedback was positive, she says she has received messages from people describing her idea as ‘stupid’.
Ella said: ‘I feel like I have not had anything unique to me and my personality.
‘At Assk I started first, I felt I could be myself while continuing with important work. I put my personality into all designs.
‘I have received so much good feedback and support behind it. That makes me great, but I get negative feedback, but it all comes from people who do not understand the rape culture.
Ella said the idea behind her underwear line is to dismantle the belief that the only type of rape is the violent type that happens in a back alley.
‘I get comments from majority men who say it’s the dumbest idea and my underwear would never stop a rapist.
‘I thought that was such a weird reaction because you do not look at someone wearing a cancer awareness shirt and say’ your shirt will not stop cancer ‘. It’s such a stupid reaction.
‘Of course the underwear will not stop a rapist, but the ideology that the only type of rape in the world is the violent type that happens in a back alley, that I want to break down.
‘That’s a very small percentage of sexual assaults that occur. Rape is an escalation of sexual assault.
Ella said those who ignore the fact that violent rapes occur but are a small percentage, contribute to rape culture
Ella said she never advertises that her products are meant to stop a predator, but they empower and spread awareness
‘When we talk about consent and sexual assault, we are not talking about violent rapes that do happen, but are a very small percentage. That’s the whole point of my brand. ‘
‘You contribute to rape culture by ignoring all these other things that happen.
‘I have such good feedback about the quality and hearing of survivors and non-survivors who say wearing them makes them feel safe.
‘If that makes anyone powerful and safe, then that’s worth it to me.
“I never advertise that they are meant to stop a predator, but to empower and spread awareness and start a conversation.”
Ella did not tell her parents about the traumatic attack she experienced until six months after it happened. Image: Ella (second right) as a child with parents Holly and Patrick, her brothers Jack, Ford and Cole
After the traumatic attack ten years ago, Ella admits that she blamed herself and could not bring herself to trust her parents Holly and Patrick, both 52, until six months later.
The family was forced to relocate states and have since campaigned against sexual assault in high schools with Ella co-founder organization, SafeBae, which aims to train high school and high school students.
Ella said: ‘I’ve been doing this job since I was attacked.
‘When I started talking about it publicly 10 years ago, people were not supportive.
‘This was for My Too, they could not believe it was happening in high schools, they could hardly believe it was happening in colleges.
Ella’s family moved states and has since campaigned against sexual assault in high schools. Pictured: Ella as a child with her mother Holly
‘After my parents knew they really understood me that what happened to me was really bad and a crime and I did nothing wrong.
‘When it happened, I thought, in my 14-year-old mind, that I had done something to deserve this to happen to me.
‘I did not understand rape, I thought that just could not happen to me. I grew up in a conservative house with a good family, you just do not think that is possible.
‘I feel the need to speak so publicly because I did not feel I had a choice.
‘I was sick and tired of people not knowing it was happening to me and not understanding why I was having a hard time and that it was wrong.
Ella said her parents helped her realize what had happened was a crime and that she had done nothing wrong to deserve it. Photo: Ella with her family as children
‘What happened to me was so wrong, educating people about it was important to me and that’s where it came from.
‘It started to feel like there was no other choice but to talk about it. From the beginning I have said if I can prevent this from happening to anyone else, it is worth it to me.
“I do not think I will ever stop pleading for this, even for my children, if I have children I do not want this to be a thing.”
Ella has recently launched a men’s line, including t-shirts and boxers, so that younger brothers, Jack, 22, Ford, 21, and Cole, 19, can be involved in the campaign.
Ella, who launches a men’s line, said her brothers were ‘traumatized’ after seeing her degraded and the attack also affected her
Ella said: ‘My parents have always been extremely supportive.
‘So many survivors do not have that support, which is why my family and I have taken it upon ourselves to all be involved in this work and try to support people who do not have it. I’m really happy.
‘My brothers were really young when it happened to me, so they grew up watching the aftermath and it shook them to their core.
‘It’s like they’re also traumatized, when you see your sister being degraded, it also affects her.
‘They have also been really strong supporters. When I told them I was launching a men’s line, they saw me every day to ask when the boxers would be here and they could wear them. It’s really nice. ‘
Rape survivor is inundated with orders for her ‘consent underwear’ line Source link Rape survivor is inundated with orders for her ‘consent underwear’ line
The post Rape survivor is inundated with orders for her ‘consent underwear’ line appeared first on California News Times.