Given the fact that 2020 has felt like 15 crappy years rolled into one, it’s hard to believe that Angelina Pivarnick’s wedding was just 13 months ago.
Maybe that’s why the quaranined guidos had such difficulty with the timeline on Thursday’s episode of Jersey Shore.
Yes, after weeks of hype worthy of a Vegas title fight, Angelina finally touched down in Sin City to join the rest of the cast in their socially-distanced new living space.
Well … make that a retooled version of what remains of the cast.
Snooki and JWoww still aren’t there, and Deena was joined by her entire freakin’ family.
Also, Mike’s wife Lauren “Laurens” Pesce was on hand, as was Esteban, the hotel attendant who meets his guests’ needs in full Walter White hazmat chic.
Needless to say, this is a weird season of Shore, but hey, it’s been a weird year.
Anyway Angelina vs. Jwoww is the title fight that the guys have been looking forward to for eight months (correction: 10 months), but that’ll have to wait.
First, there’s the undercard, which apparently involves … getting Angelina all “riled up” like a Pitbull.
We’re not really sure what the thinking was there, but for some reason the guys though they should meet up with an already-pissed Angelina and make her more pissed-off before she meets up with Deena.
Frankly, it sounded like an excuse to brually roast Angelina, and that’s perfectly fine by us.
Not surprisingly, Thursday’s episode found Pivarnick still clinging to her rage from the insults she endured in November of 2019.
“I have my right to have my feelings and that’s it. They were trying to be funny, but they were not funny,” she told her castmates.
Mike — who was rocking a Joe Exotic 2020″ hat for some reason — was having none of this.
“It’s coming to the point where, if you don’t want to be part of this family, we might have to move on without you,”
And that’s no idle threat.
“The family” has, after all, moved on without her several times in the past.
In fact, it’s sort of amazing that Angelina has participated in the “Family Vacation” iteration of Shore for as long as she has.
Regardless of whether or not she’s the reason that Snooki quit the show, many fans — and probably a few cast members are convinced that’s the case.
Considering Angeliners previously left the show because someone compared her to Rob Kardashian, or whatever, we’re surprised and impressed that she’s hung on through all the hate she’s received this time around.
“We wanted to put all the fun and games aside and joking and say we want to move forward,” Mike told Angelina on Thursday’s episode.
“If you want this situation solved, you have to be part of the solution. We just want to move forward, all of us.”
Wow. Mike using the word “situation” and not even smirking at his own pun? This must be serious.
“Do you want to be in this family? There are times for fun and games and there are times to be serious,” he finallt said.
“Do you want us to take you serious?”
Has anyone ever taken Angelina seriously? If so, why?
Anyway, tune in next week to see how this plays out.
Will Angelina finally come face-to-face with JWoww for the first time since her wedding?
Probably not, but hopefully there will be plenty of new catchphrases and nicknames to keep us entertained.